Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in grave_beauty's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
12:07 pm	How do you deal? When will this rom stop spining when will it all be set right through lover's curses and un pure thoughts since no one gets out alive how can we function with those unclean thoughts Dreaming of the disapation into long clean living. Crying for the burst of emotion in this twine ball that we wrap around us untill the room goes black and you curl up and the end of the day with those feelings of repentance and hatred from the very depths of your soul. How do you deal? How do you break away from that lover's curse and show the real you not just the preconceived notions of a consmmer brain dead society which thrives on the pain and suffering of others like a massive bully How do you deal? Everyday people dying and trying to survive the deep depression of what the world doesnt have to offer and you feel like the only one who cares in this earth and your slowly slipping away from yourself like the waters of the ocean and low tide How do you deal How do you deal (I wrote this becasue i was bored and this is my opinion like it or not)) Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
11:41 am	Well its tuesday only about 2weeks til christmas and I'm not even close to being done. blah I never knew that Christmas could be so stressful I remember when i was younger and Christmas was a time when everyone was full of antisapation like a couple expecting their first child. Not knowing what gifts your going to get hoping and praying that you would get that new d.v.d or that new toy or that new video game. Now at the age of almost 18 its all so stressfull. Especially when you dont have a job thinking what am i going to buy everyone and how am i going to get that and when and between homework and tested and everything else in the world today it seems that instead of a nice peacfull holiday its a rushed season with an ever growing headache for some people then christmas arrives and the day that so called glorious day arrives then its over and your thinking wow 2 months or so of buying and stressing that all comes down to 24 hours of recieving things and playing games and eat way to much. The reall reason i believe for chrsitmas is celebrating Jesus's birthday but now all stores are going oh hey forget Jesus buy my crap and you will be happy forever does anyone else think that this is weird? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
11:09 am	weekend!! Yeah long weekend P.A day tommorow yeye sleeping in lol wow this weekend is going to be filled with Isu projects and presentations lol plus work and babysitting but ive got the thought of yes going to ikea next weekend on my mind lol so yeah and im getting my pictures taken on wednesday so dying my hair dont know what colour yet but still dying it well thats all for now! Current Mood: hyper (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
11:21 am	anyone!?! hey im trying to sell my bunk bed anyone wanna buy lol i know that this is lame but its the only and best way to get it out its im great condition its just i need a different bed. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
11:18 am	bored so yeah sitting here in media studies and seems like this day is going to go on forever and lol steph proved me worng on the fact that my b-day has fallen on a sunday lol damn skank kidding and yeah tonihgt is hardcore homework yeah me lol working on my child abuse project with the laptop and video cam and camera and everything else blah i hate this thing and to make matters worse im getting sick booooooooo! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
9:08 pm	steph hey this is for Steph please check your email this is important i sent it to your best sunday dress adress so please read it and print the attacvhmeant my comp has no ink and i need you to print it off thatnks amanda (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
8:47 pm	I die alittle inside everytime Well hm its like only one week till school starts again:( and im not looking forward to it yes prom and grad this year but oh guess who wont have a date to prom!>? go firgure me I know i may sound like a bruting bitchy emo kid right now but my best firned promised wed go to prom together and like now hes taking this chick he met yesterday and saying shes his best friend ive known him 15 years and now am being replaced for some chick he knows less then a month lifes not fair but w/e who cares it seems no one does and hell i should e used to it by now. Every school activaty or dance or party or w/e i never go because no one will go with me and honestly especailly for prom everyone has someone to go with and if not not many ppl go so again there no point in thinking of buying a dress becasue it will end up covered in tears or torn to shreds when that shit ass day comes around and im a loser like usual. I mean i dont effing get it ppl say on myspace oh ur soo pretty or even some guys say oh ur hot or gorgeous y cant they be like that for real and the guys say it as a sick joke but im going to stop caring about anything now becasue everything i care about seems top go to shit and is always getting fucked up! Current Mood: enraged (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 9th, 2006
3:11 pm	For the love you the thinker Today is a thinking day as in the means of thinking about my life because i am so freaking bored in math that i think about stuff like that. I was actually thinking that i have such great friends,b) i really dont need guys because all most of them ever want to do is screw you (literally) then dump you and thats i feel is why most girls hate them selves like guys in my math class they talk about punching girls v-cards then leaving them for a "hotter piece of ass" now honestly this has happened to me before and it honestly hurts like hell but this is why i pick guys carefully now (lol and no i an still a virgin dont worry but he meant everything to me for those 5 months then cheated on me) but honestly i feel stronger now thatnks to some good firends"cough" tiffany and steph and kayla "Cough" but yeah omg cory lit my pants on fire lmfao but yeah luv you all!!! Current Mood: awake (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
3:15 pm	deep and enevitable despare!! Hey today i was thinking man there are like somthing like 550 guys in our school and not one of them seems to be interested in me and i sucks and hurts at the smae time which makes it even worse. I mean i personally dont think im hideous but maybe i am to guys like right now i like this guy and we talk on msn and in class alot but i dont think he likes me possibly becaus ei am a blob but meh what can you do right like i was thinking is it becayse im funny looking or the way i dress then i though well people who dress really different still get bf and so im confused about life and i hat singleness it blows Current Mood: crushed (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
8:26 pm	OMG Confusion plus and hot guys !!!!!!!!!!tehe Omg I'm so confused. Ihave been talking to this hot guy for the past couple days. Omg i think im falling for him but hey i feel really bad he is soo nice and does whatever i ask off him(and no he is not wipped) but i feel bad cuz he and i really liked each other last year but i chose to go out with another guy(a.j what an asshole) but i really like him the thing is i dont know if he likes me that way or not *runs around nervously * I dont know what i feel i know when we talk on the phone we laugh so much and have fun and stuff like who am i kidding i love the kid. when he signs on msn my heart literally jumps into my mouth and when he calls omg i almost pass out (can u tell i love him) but i dont know if he could ever like or even love a kid who is the way i am with fat and shit like that. Oh another thing is you know its bad when ur brother calls u an emo and the jocks call u emo(well then again the jocks kinda have no brains and the brains they do have r in their very small balls)*laughs so hard i fall over and hit head off fat cat* but hey im not emo okay well some emo traits i take on but hey who doesnt but anywho can n e one help me ? please im being sucked into a demize of headache heart rushes and bloody suicides that drip into my heart like the never ending sensation of love as time ticks by during a boring class and takes forever! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 13th, 2006
9:24 pm	Speaking out It's the start of the long weekend and one thing is on my mind (well 2 if you include hating my ex but thats another story). Why is it that when ever you really need to talk to people or even just get stuff off your chest it seems like no one is there. you try phoning people going on msn or even walking the streets and saying hi to random strangers and still no one really ever listens. The world is becoming so despaired and unattached from human society that when they want to talk no one will listen it started when the first quarel broke out between 2 countries and has cared on ever since. Also another thing that is bothering me is how retarded some nurses can be. 2 days ago my brother broke his collar bone. He feel off his bike after gonig down this massive hill and hitting a jump at the end he also passed out twcie and whne he landed he hit his head really hard. My mom toke him to the hospital and they got there at 8:30p.m. Instead of having him lie down and giving him a neck brace(incase he hurt his neck) they had him sit in a hard chair for 2 hours until the nurse came in. Then as the doctor came in the nurses prepared to put my brother on a piece of board on a bed.The thing about the board was it had large amounts of blood and hair on it (it's a hospital remember way to be sanitized) but well anyways he got through the night and got home at 2:a.m only to realized that the nurse had not put his cast thingy on properly and that was the same nurse with the bloody board. What a bunch of idiots like Kyle had a hole bunch of scratches and cuts on him and they were going to put him on a board with blood on it hello hasnt anyone heard of aids? Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
9:40 am	Fate Why is it that the minute your life seems to be in order fate hits you straight in the face and ruins it all? Like friday night this guy i like comes on msn and says hes dropping school which mean ill never see him *tear tear* and now life at home seems to suck. WEll one of my christian friends says that god has a plan well if he does why is it that evrything seems to be going to the pits right now? Well thats all for today signed:Confussed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 24th, 2006
1:04 pm	impressions Trying to impress random people is hard enough but someone you like is even harder. Especially if that person doesn't like you for unknown reasons. They say you can tell alot about a person by the first five minutes of conversation. But what if your conversation is about death and depression and you feel that way but it brings you down talking about it? It's 1 p.m and this has been on my mind for like a week now thinking about one person who scares you when your alone but makes you feel the world when together. Four words "What do I do"? (2 Comments |Comment on this)